Don't ask for the facts unless you want the truth.

 
This ought to get your German ire up, Papa.

Oscar Mayer and his brothers were from Deutschland, so one would assume that you were familiar with the famous jingle.
The Cardinal has a last name, it's M-A-H-O-N-Y.

"I don’t want to be a namedropper, but these colleagues were Cardinals Ruini and Mahoney."
"Then Cardinal Mahoney, shocked us by saying ..." (There's no "e" in my last name!)